he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
