Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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