These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
