Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
