i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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