Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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