are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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