My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
