she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
