it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
