You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
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