yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
