i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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