Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
