the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
