I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
