shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
well most of my day revolves around power hour
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
