3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
