Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
And my parents said I crawled through the house
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
