Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
