I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
