im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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