she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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