If i come over, it means nothing
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
