I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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