a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
