yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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