last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
