you guys were way drunker than both of me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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