i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
