I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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