i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
