do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Your cock deserves a montage
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize