...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You've changed since you got that strap on
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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