Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
