2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Randomize
