I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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