Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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