I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize