By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
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I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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