Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
