I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
