haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
