I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize