Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Sorry about my life...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize