you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
