One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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