lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
