Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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