sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
