I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
