ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
