matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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