Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
