This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize