We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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