he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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