I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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