So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
