I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
