what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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