She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
