Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
